IF I Were At The Met Gala
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Every year with bated breath, fashion lovers like myself await the star-studded Met Gala. Without fail, you engage in conversations around the theme, who's going to be there, who's going to turn it out, fashion wise of course, who's going to wear the most provocative look, who's going to take a risk, who'll probably look the most ridiculous, what so and so wore last year, I mean we can go on and on. Basically, if you're about that fashion life, outside of Fashion Week, honey this is IT. So each year, you schedule your day around this moment. I personally know better than to make plans that evening - I need to see the red carpet. It is a must!
But then the day comes. Popcorn and beverage of choice in hand. You begin to skim through every feed looking for that moment of WOW. From Instagram to Snapchat to Digital Platforms to Television, everything is ON. And then, it happens. You start to sink into your couch or scrouch down on the floor or slide down in your chair in sheer disappointment. WHAT HAPPENED?!? The most exciting moment in fashion is here and no one SHOWED UP! The themes presented are to be used as creative guides because this is the one moment in fashion when really - there are no rules. This is NOT the time to play it safe and throw on a damn ball gown. Now, all in attendance aren't giving you lackluster. As always, the daring will break the rules, create new ones, and give you what you want.
However, overall you feel let down. You've been anticipating this moment all week and throughout the weekend. Its underwhelming and you're already over it the second outfit in. Well this year was no different. Over the past few years, not many themes have allowed you to throw caution to the wind. In fact, most of the themes since its {The Met Gala for Costume Institutes fundraising} inception haven't been that outlandish. Outside of Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy in 2008 and Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty in 2011, this years theme Manus x Machina: Fashion In An Age Of Technology was well overdue.
Its been 5 years of basic and I was wrought with excitement for this year. I mean Fashion In An Age Of Technology couldn't have been presented at a better time. With every other conversation centered around some new social platform, some influencer program, some custom video content, some new app, some new technology company, I just knew the fashion bishes were coming to S L A Y A H ! And what did we get? Insert *Eye rolls* Dresses with studs and grommets? Asses out? - that's been played out for eons at this point Form fitting gowns? Cut-outs? SHOCKING. Mirrored Panels? GROUND BREAKING. Outside of Zac Posen, who clearly follows instructions and did not come to play any games, much to my chagrin, I was more excited about my meal than what I saw on the carpet.
This is a time when I say, why wasn't I on the list! IF I Were At The Met Gala, which was my running social tout last night, I would've turnt that BITCH OWT. My first phone call would have gone to Thierry Mugler, because lets face it, since the early 90's he's been knocking heauxs out with his futuristic fashion. There are a gagillion other designers on that call list including, but most certainly not limited to, Junya Watanabe, Irina Dzhus, Gareth Pugh - LIKE COME ON, Maison Martin Margiela - I MEAN WHY THE PHUCK DIDN'T ANYONE HAVE ON MARGIELA?, Hussein Chalayan, Andres Courreges, Pierre Cardin, and Paco Rabanne.
I was ready to see something that would've turned my face upside down. Hell, a damn emoji outfit might've been intriguing. And don't even get me started on the footwear. While there were certainly trends re-established on the carpet last night, no one took it there. The interpretation of Fashion In An Age Of Technology was lost in the familiar. I described my dream outfit for the gala to bae this morning: structured broad shoulder top, cinched in at the waist, with a pair of short shorts that mirrored the shoulders of my top. With a push of a button, my structured shoulders would collapse and turn into puffselves, and my shorts would change color. And my shoes, well, with a light tap they'd turn into flats if need be allowing me the ability to dance the night away. Where was the imagination? Where was the technology? And where was the FASHION?
I hope next year's theme gives everyone a chance to redeem themselves and more importantly, I need to be on the damn list to show how shit like this is done! In the mean time, check out this gallery of Mugler and more representing pieces from the 60's through the 2000's. Like it had already been done. Someone should have pulled out the batphone and called the archives department...
THIERRY MUGLER
MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA
GARETH PUGH
PACO RABANNE
PIERRE CARDIN
JUNYA WATANABE
HUSSEIN CHALAYAN
ANDRES COURREGES
IMAGES SOURCED FROM THE WORLD WIDE WEB.
